Original “Reconciliation” Article with a Brief Update

rekənˌsilēˈāSH(ə)n/

noun

1. the restoration of friendly relations.

Friends come, friends definitely go and only true friends can withstand the tests of times. My best friend and I reconciled after not speaking for 2 years. Recovering friendships, especially if the people involved are really important to you, helps heal your hurts and can essentially improve your life.

First step in reconciliation is the want to do it and the admitting your part in the deterioration of the friendship.  It always hurts me when I lose a friend especially one that you’ve been through a lot with, but I used this fact to push me to reach out. I also couldn’t come up with a concrete reason on how we just stopped. We didn’t argue, we didn’t fight, we just stopped. So I apologized for not reaching out sooner, for not being there if I was needed, and taking responsibility in our brokenness. In response to me admitting these things, she responded with an apology as well and we both accepted that we went about some things wrong.

We went over details of what happened and it all made sense. If I were her back then, I’d feel the same and I believe she’d see how I felt back then if she were me. Friendships -as well as relationships evolve when people change, and I think our space has allowed us to grow. Sometimes we have to make personal and selfish sacrifices to repair and sustain a relationship. So maybe had we not had this space we’d fall out over something much bigger.

We made amends. Only we had the power to move from the past -and only to use it as a guide to avoid any future conflicts. The desire to want to fix our friendship is what’s needed to reclaim the time we lost! With her in LA and myself working on my move to Vegas next year, I get to explore the West with my best friend.

UPDATE: So I wrote this 2 months ago…and we’ve talked everyday since! I got to visit her and she’s gotten me through probably one of the toughest things I’ve ever experienced! I love her so much and we’re about to do something big together next year. I’m so excited!

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