How to Overcome The Crushing Feelings of Failure

Everyone understands that as humans we are doomed to making mistakes. It won’t happen once in a blue moon instead it might be a daily occurrence. But even though it is understood that we will be rejected once in a while, many people fear failure. They jump through some many hoops to ensure they won’t flop, and when defeat inevitable happens, they allow themselves to be swept up by the depressing emotions. Because loss is unavoidable, it is important to keep in mind certain tips that will help you overcome some of the crushing emotions that come from a misstep. Here are four ways to handle failure.

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1. Don’t Take it Personally

It can be tempting when you experience failure to connect it to your identity and tear yourself down. Just because you haven’t succeeded in what you are trying to achieve, doesn’t mean you are a failure. Connecting failure to your identity isn’t beneficial and can only destroy your confidence. Your self-esteem doesn’t need to be wrecked because you are momently low.

The problem of taking defeat personally is you that stop yourself from allowing the experience to teach you something valuable. People often make the mistake of viewing failure as a conclusion. The rejection should be seen as another opportunity to try again instead of allowing it to become who you are.

2. Don’t Become Obsessed With The Situation

It is important you untangle all of the emotions you may be feeling and give yourself time to feel those emotions whether it is an embarrassment, frustration or regret, so they don’t reappear when you least expect it. But after a certain point, you have to let those feelings go. Learning from the incident is necessary, but don’t allow it to consume you.

Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in your emotional thoughts instead remember there are certain aspects of life that are completely out of your control. “Part of building resilience means, even if you’ve had a setback, even if you get a nasty blog comment or review, or you didn’t get the job, or the client that you wanted, resilience means being able to go, ‘Urgh, that hurt,’ and do whatever you need to do to shake it out of your system.” Alexandria Franzen, author of You’re Going to Survive. “But when tomorrow rolls around, you do the work again.” The less amount of time you allow yourself to dwell in that despairing feeling, the faster you can move forward.

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3. Grow From The Loss

After coming to terms with your emotions, spend time analyzing the failed attempt. Where did you go wrong? Once you gain insight into what exactly caused you to fall, you can use this newfound knowledge to improve your skills. Using this wisdom can only bring you closer to your goal. Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light bulb on his first try, and you will not succeed on your first try either. Gaining expertise from failure can give you some edge and sharpen your craft, so use the situation to fuel your motivation and propel you forward.

4. Remember You Are Not Alone

Rejection can make you feel isolated, but you are not the only person who has failed, and you won’t be the last person to fail. Anyone who wants to accomplish anything in their lifetime is bound to fall on their face at least once. I can guarantee at least one of your friends or family members has taken a misstep and will understand the issues you internally wrestle with. Allowing yourself to be open to another person can help you see the situation from a new perspective, and your loved one might offer a piece of advice that might help you find your balance again and move past it.

I am my biggest critic, so I understand that failure can kill your confidence. But it is essential that you take that loss and twist it into a win. Although it may hurt at the time, rejection is something that you can use to your advantage. So take some time to regroup, and then try again harder.

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