The story of Boaz and Ruth is a go to in the bible for dating advice, but why? Ruth is the 8th book in the Bible and tells the story of a widow who journeys with her daughter in law back to Bethlehem. Upon returning to Bethlehem, Ruth meets a wealthy relative of Naomi and decides that he will be her next husband. There are three key points that the Spirit revealed to me regarding dating for males, but the females could definitely do the same.
Boaz was an older man (Ruth 2:1) from Naomi’s past. He was not trying to date or woo a female. He was an established gentleman that owned servants, land and a house. He was a worthy man, based on the story because he had possessions and people spoke well of him (Ruth 2). Boaz was not actively looking for a wife, but Ruth was looking for a husband.
The first key point is security. When we look at Boaz, he is a man that had land, servants, and a house. He was stable and able to provide for himself. On the opposite side, we see Ruth, who was working towards stability while looking for a husband. Ruth was not dressed in Prada and Gucci, but she was on her grind. She was amongst the other servants when Boaz noticed her. As a guy, I believe the Bible suggests that we should be established for ourselves before trying to date. Being established before building a relationship should provide confidence when looking for a mate.
The second key point was Boaz was kind (Ruth 2:5-9, 4:1-12). Boaz knew about Ruth’s situation. He knew that Naomi was a widow that Ruth had followed her back to Bethlehem. This meant two things; the first being that Ruth was also a widow and owned the land of her husband. The second being that if he married Ruth, he would by right, take the land that belonged to her deceased husband. This is important because the marriage would be advantages to him. I believe that the Bible is suggesting that after becoming established, we must be kind. Being established would give anyone confidence. However, confidence without kindness will make you seem conceited. No one likes to hang around someone who is conceited.
The third point is one that most overlook, but I personally find it the most important factor because it encompasses the other two. Boaz obeyed God’s laws (Ruth 4:1-12). There are important laws that the Israelites follow that are written in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. The sojourners were told to follow those laws as if they were native people (Lev. 24:22). They were treated as natives. Boaz obeyed God’s laws although, he may not have believed in God. However, he had principles and a code of conduct that he followed. We see evidence of this when Ruth goes to lie at his feet (Ruth 3:8-16). The Bible does not say if anything sexual happened and I have no reason to believe it did. Boaz was aware of the appearances and did not want the reputation of Ruth ruined. He gives her enough barley to fill her cloak so that it seems as if she was only there to collect barley. This reveals Boaz’s principles in the fact that he did not tarnish Ruth’s reputation as a woman.
If the principles, we keep as men, are the ones from the Bible, (1 Peter 1:16) then we are striving for something unattainable. A greatness that exceeds our own. Trying to be holy and perfect like God is a great endeavor. This is important because God is established, kind, loving, gentle, self-controlled, patience, merciful, and many other traits that should be mimicked. He is the perfect example of perfection. If we are striving for Godliness then the Bible states that everything else will follow after (Matthew 6:33). We will have our needs taken care of, it’s a promise of God (Matthew 6:25-32).
As always these are my thoughts and what I got from reading the story of Ruth. I find that what I’ve seen based on the story, being established, kindness, and having principles can be applied to men and women. I’d love to know what you think. Have dating advice I forgot to mention? Let me know! Or maybe you read the story of Ruth and saw something different? let me know in the comments down below or tweet @crownlessheir. Thanks for reading Fam.
Grace to you,