Whatever you don’t want me doing, don’t do it. Now this goes without saying, but to break it down some more -I find that sometimes people aren’t aware of what they do. For me, usually, in order for my significant other to understand how I feel about something, I’d simply change the perspective of the issue. For example, if you don’t want me hanging out with my ex who is just a friend now, then you can’t do it either. This may even open a door for communicating about what’s acceptable and what isn’t.
What is considered cheating? Believe it or not, everyone has different rules as to what is and isn’t cheating. Whether it’s kissing, texting, or chilling with someone on the low -it’s important that whatever you think it is, its established early on. Another thing you should discuss is how you go about handling it. I know you’re wondering, Well isn’t it bad luck to discuss something so bad that hasn’t happened? Although, I hope no one ever experiences the trauma of being cheated on, why not discuss it early on? We are all human and shit happens. For example, I consider having intercourse with another cheating, and if that happens, there’s nothing to discuss. I’m single.
Don’t assume my thoughts or feelings. Women tend to be overthinkers and men love to try to read minds, but honestly, it rarely gets either gender anywhere in relationships. When something comes up that you’re unsure about, just ask. Unless you have concrete answers don’t assume you “know” your partner’s thoughts and feeling.
Better Sex. It is very hard to discuss this with someone, especially if you love them. How can you possibly bring yourself to tell your partner you’re not satisfied in bed? Well, if you don’t you will likely suffer more in silence, or eventually, step out. First, you must get over the possibility of hurting your partner’s feelings when bringing this to the forefront. Secondly, provide solutions rather than point out the problem. For example, if you’re bored in bed maybe suggest something that you’d like to do that would make them comfortable as well.
Learn to communicate without being defensive. Especially in those newer relationships, we have to learn to use our words. It’s very important to build a foundation of mutual respect -even if there is a disagreement. The goal is to successfully work through each other’s mistakes without feeling attacked or judged.
Clarity of Expectations. With dating, we often assume we all want the same things in a relationship. Because we’re all different there will obviously be some differences in what we expect from each other. How can you possibly know what your partners wants and needs are if you don’t ask them what they need from you? For example, if you expect some form of attention from your partner every day, that’s not something that can be read by spending time with you. You have to tell them you expect phone calls, texts, hugs, or kisses.
Are there any other things you want in a relationship, but are too afraid to say? Comment below!